Image of local car dealer waving arms in front of low-quality green screen permanently bookmarked in subconscious so it can be returned to in a fever dream

Neural functioning comes to a complete halt during exposure to slow-motion footage of sizzling shrimp being tossed in a fajita pan

Right frontal lobe alters perception of self to reflect that you are now a premium vodka drinker

Fluid beneath skull protects brain from ricochet as you leap from the couch to take advantage of one-day-only sale

Reasoning faculties immediately get to work justifying upcoming purchase

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