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Top 5 Ways to Downplay the Dysfunction of Your Family

No family is perfect, whether you are from a suburban family of 2.5 kids or your mother was spontaneously pregnant and your siblings are a bunch of super freaks just like you. In anticipation of Netflix’s new show, The Umbrella Academy, here are some hot tips to downplay your own family’s weirdness, because let’s face it, every family has their own baggage.

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Distract from your own family’s dysfunction by pointing out how dysfunctional other families are. Like, isn’t it weird that some adults still calls their parents Mommy and Daddy? What’s happening there?

Act like your family is completely normal. Denial is powerful. Yes, your entire family has matching haircuts, doesn’t everyone’s? This is something you can unpack with your therapist after you have a complete mental breakdown in your thirties.

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Destroy anyone who speaks ill of your family. You are the only one allowed to make fun of your sister’s dream to be a bar mitzvah DJ, no one else. They may be messed up, but they’re the only one you have.

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Get in a massive fight with your siblings or parents at a big family event. Tell them all how badly they messed you up, preferably at a funeral, wedding, or the birth of a nephew. But watch out, if your family is anything like the siblings in The Umbrella Academy, things are gonna get wild.

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It will make you grateful for your own family’s brand of dysfunction.

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